Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Not Actually In The Bible

A recent report indicates that Americans are some of the most religious people on the planet but score horribly on biblical knowledge. I'd like to help.
Over the years many things have been rumored to be in the Bible that actually are not. Let's explore a few of these here..

The Golden Rule; Do unto other as you would have done unto you.
This one IS in there, but it's worded differently. This more commonly known wording is, as far as I can tell, from a 1963 book on B&D, S&M ettiquette titled "Safewords and Hanky Codes made simple."

Here's a really surprising one. Contrary to popular belief, neither "Vote Republican" nor "Bush, Cheny in 2004" are found in the bible, except where they've been added which is frequently the case.

God made the dirt, so the dirt can't hurt. Amazingly enough, this gem which led to much eating of dirt in my child hood is not scripture. It seems that in fact many of Gods creations, not excluding humans, are quite capable of inflicting hurt as is God himself. (A wink to Jones, fellow dirt eater.)

Mythical Creatures. The unicorn IS actually in the Bible, Leprachans, Tela-Tubbies, funny republicans, intelligent and/or productive internet debate, natural disaster proof trailer parks, a cure for warts or dinosaurs however are not.

Spare the Twinkie, spoil the child; not in there. Not that my mom ever fell for that one anyway.

Kill everyone that believes differently than you. Not in there. Sorry. No, please, calm down, there's no need to get violent. Okay, okay it's in. I'm writing it in right now, please, have a seat.

I guess I'd better leave off there, for now.

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