Sunday, December 11, 2005

A virus for you

Computer viruses may just be darwinian principles applying to the virtual world as they do to the real world. If you got a virus because you opened the file marked "Youngest nude girls allowed by law" good. You deserve it. Get off the internet.

If you believed that you're grandma who has been dead for three years sent you an attachment labeled "good happy family photo for you", bye bye, off the internet.

If you were fooled by the twelve year old kid in Malaysia who beats boredom by giving fat American's infected attachments labeled "Free Hamburger for hungry you", see you later, no internet for you.

My point? It's pretty easy not to download a virus. And if you got one, you may just want to stick to playing solitaire with your computer (what it was originaly intended for I believe.)

Pesky adware that keeps loading pop ups onto your computer even when you're offline is equaly easy to avoid but dammit sometimes a guy needs to see some naked ladies pretending to be lesbians. What do these advertisers hope will happen? That I'll by their product because they're totally f'in' up my web surfing? If a guy tackles me on the street and staples a flyer to my head, I aint buyin' the brand of pizza that he's selling, no matter how good the deal. What sucks is that some moron, or rather many morons, are responding to this kind of advertising. They must be, or the advertisers would quit using it.

So, virus making kid in some previously third world country with way more 'puter skills than me, please make a program promising a better pizza deal with lots of pop up ad loading and give a crazy permanently disabling virus only to those who actually try to respond to the pop ups. Get them off of my internet.

One last thoughts on viruses. Though I am an atheist I hate the argument that there can't be a god because why would god allow disease. To folks using this argument I'd like to point out that we know there is a creator when it comes to the world wide web, and what's the first thing this creator (Al Gore?) did once this virtual world was created? Add disease. So maybe there is a great creator, and a young Malaysian kid is messing up his world.

Sorry Malaysia, I chose your country at random, no offense intended.

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